The Importance of Self Confidence in a Relationship

The Importance of Self Confidence in a Relationship

The self confidence of a relationship is dependent on the amount of love and trust that exists in that relationship. The problem is in any relationship, no two people’s confidence will ever match to perfection. One’s self confidence always seems to be a little stronger than the others because on the impression that that person has in the amount of love and trust being shared mutually. But successful couples tend to share part of a confidence continuity that allows one mate to take up where the other lets off. Usually positive in nature, it has the ability to increase the level of confidence in each individual, thus prolonging the union. It starts with the desire to give to the relationship.


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When confidence is highly mismatched, which unfortunately affects a high proportion of relationships, one partner is likely to grow in esteem as he/she settles into the union and achieves his/her own goals, while the other will diminish in strength and character and more than likely begin feeling insecure and inadequate. This has a tendency to create animosity and ill feelings bordering on hate. More often, lack of confidence follows a lack of trust and the lack of trust is often experienced by the more insincere spouse necessitating a greater expression of love from the other spouse or significant other.


 : A businesswoman has control on the young man

I Got You: Restoring Confidence in Love and Relationships

The Importance of Self Confidence in a Relationship

In cases like these it is difficult to mutually support each other because the individual with all the confidence has a tendency to control as much of the relationship as possible leaving the other partner at the whim of the confident one. This usually creates a partner who’s cautious, fearful or even resentful. Because the needs of the inferior partner aren’t met, frustrations soon manifest which in turn strangles their enthusiasm and effort. This is when competition or apathy sets in and the seeds for a breakdown now take hold.

Difficult to Please

 : Handsome Black male ignores an enraged Caucasian female confidence in relationship

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People with low esteem end up berating those they love to boost their own feelings of inadequacy as well as being difficult to please and to reach. This is because they’re the only people they can have any power over and due to the defensive barriers they’ve put up to protect themselves. They tend to display a tough-guy persona which is superficial and self serving. They’re quite often mean and seldom seek to inspire faith in others, but demand respect from those they wish to control. You will rarely hear the words ‘I love you’, ‘I admire you’, ‘You look great’, ‘Wonderful to have you in my life’, or ‘You’re so clever’ from low-confidence partners because they want such praise for themselves as well and, not getting it from anyone, they unable to reciprocate. Instead, they adopt a superior attitude and their partner’s likely to be treated as though they should be grateful for any affection or attention they receive.

The Importance of Self Confidence in a Relationship

Individuals with low self-worth, and with an insatiable desire to seek reinforcement of their actions, to boost their own egos, are always expecting others to re-affirm their actions, to love them and value them for what they do. They often tend to believe they’re never going to receive any appreciation from their more positive partner simply because of a lack of confidence in their relationship. It’s necessary to have confidence in ourselves before we can have confidence in a relationship and understand what love is and be able to accept it then pass it back to others.

People who are low-confidence also find it hard to solve personal difficulties. Being too ready to blame others for their own misfortune, they expect scapegoats to provide the excuses, often refusing to accept any responsibility for their own mistakes they fail to realize that any solution lies within themselves. Blaming others becomes a handy crutch for doing nothing. Sadly, it also maintains their low self-acceptance and reduces their personal value and appeal.

Dragged Down by Negativity

 : Couple having a disagreement

Reclaim Yourself: Get Back Your Identity and Self-Confidence When You’ve Lost Yourself in a Relationship

The trouble with having extremes of confidence competing in a relationship is that, sooner or later, the positive person will be dragged down by the negativity of the other, be severely limited, be demoralized by the criticism and ridicule, or alternatively, be suffocated by the bowing to the others whims, whingeing or marked lack of respect for personal space. Males with low self-esteem tend to be controllers in relationships, always keen to control their environment excessively, like wardens in a prison, and to point out blunders and errors. They tend to feel insecure if they are not in charge. Such men often seem quiet, retiring and competent to others, but are likely to behave like bullies at home, especially towards their family – the captive audience.

Characterized by weakness and dependency, anyone with low esteem tends to behave like a doormat, always trying to please, often at their own expense. They are usually the last to appreciate their negative circumstances which many others can easily see. Often they take their treatment without a whimper, no matter how degrading, violent and brutal, in return for the continuing attention, approval and self-reinforcement they crave. In time, for both men and women, they lose their self-respect entirely, their friends gradually disappear and they become dependent upon their job as workaholics, upon friends or relatives, or upon each other, especially for self-reinforcement and validation. Such relationships are likely to exclude others, becoming increasingly limiting, claustrophobic and destructive in the end.

 : You are in control blue message bubble illustration design confidence in a relationship

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 : Cute woman looking at her boyfriend painting a heart confidence in a relationship

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