The Importance of Self Confidence in a Relationship

The Importance of Self Confidence in a Relationship

The self-confidence in a relationship is dependent on the amount of love and trust that exists in a relationship. The problem is in any relationship, no two people’s confidence will ever match to perfection. One’s self-confidence always seems to be a little stronger than the others because on the impression that that person has in the amount of love and trust being shared mutually. But successful couples tend to share part of a confidence continuity that allows one mate to take up where the other lets off. Usually positive in nature, it has the ability to increase the level of confidence in each individual, thus prolonging the union. It starts with the desire to give to the relationship.


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When confidence is highly mismatched, which unfortunately affects a high proportion of relationships, one partner is likely to grow in esteem as he/she settles into the union and achieves his/her own goals, while the other will diminish in strength and character and more than likely begin feeling insecure and inadequate. This has a tendency to create animosity and ill feelings bordering on hate. More often, lack of confidence follows a lack of trust and the lack of trust is often experienced by the more insincere spouse necessitating a greater expression of love from the other spouse or significant other.


Build self confidence in a relationship

This book isn’t about playing a game to get what you want. It’s about you looking at yourself and finding ways to learn how to grow as an individual. I cannot tell you every single step you should take to get you to where you are trying to go in life. But what I can do is make sure you have enough confidence to trust your own judgments, regardless of past mistakes. I want you to understand that it’s okay to be exactly where you are right now, whether you are single or in a relationship. Appreciate where your journey is taking you, but be able to identify areas that need to change. I want you to read this book and have a better understanding of the present. I want you to know that trying to get it right is a constant process. We never arrive at a place of knowing it all. For as long as we are alive, we are challenged to grow, learn, evolve, and mature. Love is a decision, not a destination. It’s not something you stumble upon. You must choose to walk in it, give to it, and become it. Each of us travels a different path to find the love we are searching for. Some find what they are looking for instantly, while others must jump over a few hurdles before realizing they have finally found something special. In essence, we are all just working towards what we believe we deserve— our fair chance at love and happiness.

The Importance of Self Confidence in a Relationship

In cases like these, it is difficult to mutually support each other because the individual with all the confidence has a tendency to control as much of the relationship as possible leaving the other partner at the whim of the confident one. This usually creates a partner who’s cautious, fearful or even resentful. Because the needs of the inferior partner aren’t met, frustrations soon manifest which in turn strangles their enthusiasm and effort. This is when competition or apathy sets in and the seeds for a breakdown now take hold.

Difficult to Please

Empower your self confidence in a relationship

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People with low esteem end up berating those they love to boost their own feelings of inadequacy as well as being difficult to please and to reach. This is because they’re the only people they can have any power over and due to the defensive barriers they’ve put up to protect themselves. They tend to display a tough-guy persona which is superficial and self-serving. They’re quite often mean and seldom seek to inspire faith in others, but demand respect from those they wish to control. You will rarely hear the words ‘I love you’, ‘I admire you’, ‘You look great’, ‘Wonderful to have you in my life’, or ‘You’re so clever’ from low-confidence partners because they want such praise for themselves as well and, not getting it from anyone, they unable to reciprocate. Instead, they adopt a superior attitude and their partner’s likely to be treated as though they should be grateful for any affection or attention they receive.

The Importance of Self Confidence in a Relationship

Individuals with low self-worth, and with an insatiable desire to seek reinforcement of their actions, to boost their own egos, are always expecting others to re-affirm their actions, to love them and value them for what they do. They often tend to believe they’re never going to receive any appreciation from their more positive partner simply because of a lack of confidence in their relationship. It’s necessary to have confidence in ourselves before we can have confidence in a relationship and understand what love is and be able to accept it then pass it back to others.

People who are low-confidence also find it hard to solve personal difficulties. Being too ready to blame others for their own misfortune, they expect scapegoats to provide the excuses, often refusing to accept any responsibility for their own mistakes they fail to realize that any solution lies within themselves. Blaming others becomes a handy crutch for doing nothing. Sadly, it also maintains their low self-acceptance and reduces their personal value and appeal.

Dragged Down by Negativity

self confidence in a relationship

Create space in your relationship where you and your partner each have the freedom to do your own things, have your own friends, make your own decisions and pursue your own dreams and aspirations.

The trouble with having extremes of confidence competing in a relationship is that, sooner or later, the positive person will be dragged down by the negativity of the other, be severely limited, be demoralized by the criticism and ridicule, or alternatively, be suffocated by the bowing to the others’ whims, bringing about a marked lack of respect for personal space. Males with low self-esteem tend to be controllers in relationships, always keen to control their environment excessively, like wardens in a prison, and to point out blunders and errors. They tend to feel insecure if they are not in charge. Such men often seem quiet, retiring and competent to others, but are likely to behave like bullies at home, especially towards their family – the captive audience.

Characterized by weakness and dependency, anyone with low esteem tends to behave like a doormat, always trying to please, often at their own expense. They are usually the last to appreciate their negative circumstances which many others can easily see. Often they take their treatment without a whimper, no matter how degrading, violent and brutal, in return for the continuing attention, approval, and self-reinforcement they crave. In time, for both men and women, they lose their self-respect entirely, their friends gradually disappear and they become dependent upon their job as workaholics, upon friends or relatives, or upon each other, especially for self-reinforcement and validation. Such relationships are likely to exclude others, becoming increasingly limiting, claustrophobic and destructive in the end.


 : You are in control blue message bubble illustration design confidence in a relationship

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Take Care Not to be Narcissistic

Narcissism may be the boldest sign of a lack of self-esteem. Anyone who needs constant reinforcement of their self-worth has little worth in his own mind. This is why they need this attention. Lack of self-esteem requires a person to use their power, in replace of respect, to build any self-esteem they have, which ultimately brings a false self-esteem. It’s a self-esteem built on fear and maintained with fear and this is what makes it the absolute worst kind of self-esteem to own and I feel sorry for those who are doomed to express it. A quick look at the most influential people in history, the most influential like Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi were all humble men yet they left a much larger footprint in history.






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Self confidence in a relationship

If you’re serious about finding your right man, learn how to eat to be your best. If your food is tainted, your attitude will be tainted. Eat clean food and you can’t help but find your right man. It helps to read the first in the series, It’s Time for a Cure.

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