How to Build Confidence With Women
Is Your Focus On The Right Thing?
What are your goals when you first meet a woman? Are you trying to impress her? If you’re having trouble, it’s probably due to your lack of confidence with women. How can you improve your self-confidence with women now becomes the question. For any self-confidence to exist, the fear has to be extinguished. The more fear you feel, the less confidence you’ll experience. The question now becomes, how do you overcome the fear?
How’s Your Self Respect?
Take stock of what you’ve accomplished and allowed that feeling of confidence to give you a little self-esteem. Decide that you’re worth it, because, without it, you have little chance of impressing any woman. Don’t flaunt your qualities. That’s arrogance and although some younger girls may be impressed by it, you’re setting up a false impression of self-confidence that will only hurt your relationship in the long run. True self-confidence doesn’t need to boast about anything.
Does Fear Control Your Actions?
Fears are beliefs that limit your actions and reactions because you believe there’s some truth to them. Everyone has fears, most of them are unrealistic. Fears are the opposite of confidence. their enemies and they can’t exist together. The only way to conquer this fear is to face it. What’s amazing, is that once you do this, you’ll notice an increase in your confidence immediately. In the book “Double your Dating“, David DeAngelo dedicated many techniques to getting rid of this fear of limiting beliefs.
Minimize the fear of the unknown
Interaction with women can be very dynamic. You just can’t predict how it’ll go, how she will react or if she has a boyfriend or husband. That fear is unfounded because you’ll never know anything about her if you don’t ask. The only way to know is to ask! If you don’t, the tension will linger. What you also don’t know is that if you don’t ask you’ll be stuck with that fear of asking until you do. Clearly, her reaction only matters in the answers she gives you as to whether or not she’s interested in you. And even if it didn’t go well you’ll feel much lighter and confident to move on to someone else.
Don’t let refusals get you down
Do you know that Thomas Edison had to try over 10,000 times to find a usable filament for the electric light bulb to make it a viable product worth marketing? (He wasn’t the first person to make light out of electricity.) He was the first to make a practical long lasting light bulb that could be manufactured inexpensively for mass production. The reason I bring this up is that he didn’t let 10,000 failures get in his way of finding the one filament that worked. Keeping this in mind, why would you let one failed attempt at asking someone for a date, stop you. There are too many women available to let one refusal keep you down. Thomas Edison didn’t look at his failures as failures. He saw them as 10,000 little successes as they were all ways that didn’t work and he just needed one that did. You can look at it the same way and not let one turn down get you down.
What Does Your Internal Dialogue Tell You?
Is your inner voice telling you “I can” or “I can’t”? If you’re having trouble with your inner voice, try programming your mind with positive affirmations like the few listed here:
- I enjoy talking with women and asking questions to get to know them better
- Women enjoy talking with me because I know how to show interest in them
- I have the utmost respect for all women
It’s easy to create your own affirmations that you can use on a daily basis. Read your affirmations to yourself throughout the day especially in the morning right after you get up and at night right before you go to bed. You’ll be amazed after a while at what they will do for your self-confidence with women.
When you see someone you would like to meet, approach her immediately before any fear has time to set it. Hesitation is failure’s best friend. If you want to meet her you have to act, and act now. Hesitation allows those voices in the back of your mind to start telling you reasons you shouldn’t walk over to her at strike up a conversation.
Do your best to look your best
Appearance really is that important in terms of attraction. Although it’s also a result of other factors such as body language and voice tone, what you wear is her first impression of you.It goes without saying that the better you look, the better your chances of connecting with her. Therefore you should invest in your appearance to a level you feel confident and comfortable about it. It’s still true what the old saying tells us, “clothes make the man”. While you don’t have to wear a suit or sports coat, the better your look, the better your confidence and the better your chances are of making that connection.
Seek help from friends:
Surround yourself with successful people, those who you can model your actions after, the fastest way to learn is by observing a role model. When you’re around people who succeed with women you slowly become successful with women yourself. When you’re with someone who has that much confidence with women it’ll affect you too! You’ll start to feel more confident with women yourself.
You are what you believe you are. Like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “A man is what he thinks about all day long”. When you develop a positive attitude about your confidence with women or even life! Your chances to succeed are 80% higher. Empower yourself and talk positively about your progress and the skill set you’re about to achieve.
11. Fake it till you make it:
Our body language is always influenced by the inner feeling. What not many people know the effect works both ways. Change in body language leads to changing the inner feeling. It is much easier to change your body language than thoughts. So you adopt body movements of people that have high self-confidence around women. Slowly it will affect your feeling and feel more confident when you attract women.
12. Enjoy the challenge:
Remember the first affirmation above, “I enjoy talking with women and asking questions to get to know them better”? Notice the second word, enjoy. Enjoy your time with women, getting to know them, her desires and aspirations, her character and moods, her likes and dislikes. If this is one your affirmations, this will come naturally as you will have trained your brain to harbor these qualities. Keep in mind how you want to treat the woman of your choice and include that in your affirmations.
If You Don’t Act Now, When Will You?